As you may have guessed from the title of this entry, I am Nervous, nervous, nervous. And my feelings of worry are not being helped by the coffee I had for breakfast, the Rock Star I had for lunch, and the 5-Hour Energy Drink I had an hour ago. Why so nervous (aside from my idiotic level of caffeine consumption)? Two reasons:
1) Today will be the ordered Third Reading of Assembly Bill 144 by the California State Senate's Appropriations Committee.
2) A bid I placed on eBay that will be ending within the next few hours.
Here's what's up with the first reason: I had said in my last blog entry that, most likely, I would not preach on Second Amendment issues here in this blog. And I'm not going to today. But I would be rather remiss if I did not at least explain what AB144 is.
AB144 is a bill authored by Assemblyman Anthony Portantino (D - La Canada/Flintridge) and co-authored by Assemblyman Tom Ammiano (D - San Francisco). The bill, if passed, would prohibit the act of unloaded open-carry in the state of California. And that's all I'm going to say about that.
I have a very keen interest in this bill. And if it passes the Senate floor today it will be sent to the Governor's desk for signing. He is expected to sign the bill if it does happen to cross his desk. Very little chance he will veto it.
I have devoted a substantial amount of time and energy (along with many other like-minded people) in an effort to defeat this bill. This bill has shown-up under numerous different titles and guises over the past eight years or so. And each time we've been able to defeat it.....but only to have it re-appear with different verbage time and time again. But the bill has never made it this far through the legislative process and the forecast for it being defeated again is rather bleak. The feeling this is giving me is akin to having placed a very large bet on a sporting event, the score is tied, there's only a few seconds left in the game, and the other side has the ball. It is MADDENING!!! I guess some people with gambling addictions get "high" off of that sensation. To me it is sheer torture. Now, should my side win, the feelings of joy and relief that would be added to the cocktail of adrenaline and caffeine coursing through my veins would be a euphoric feeling for sure. But I could definitely do without it. I'm having trouble sitting still and my mind is racing. I don't think I could hold a single thought even if it had a handle. It's times like these when I can actually understand, maybe even envy, those who are apathetic to the goings-ons of our republic's political and legislative processes. Maybe they're right. Life would be much more simple if I were to just say "fuck it" and not care about some of the public matters that I do. But if I'm honest with myself, I've got to admit the simple fact that I'm just not wired that way. I'm a pretty hardcore American, that's just the way I'm built.
Now onto the second reason I am so nervous: that eBay bid that I placed. I placed a bid on a camera that I absolutely love: the Fujifilm S1 Pro. I have one of these cameras and I bought it when they first came-out around ten years ago. But it recently stopped functioning and would cost more to have repaired than the camera is worth. Of course, it goes without saying that its technology is quite antiquated compared with today's newer cameras. But I don't care. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the S1 Pro. I paid over $3000.00 for mine when I bought it. Today one can be found in mint condition for around $400.00. Well, I have other cameras that are newer and much more advanced and I can get along just fine without buying another one. And I've had some very large, very unexpected expenses lately that would make buying a camera I do not need a fiscally foolish thing to do. But I placed a bid on it anyway.
(Tip: NEVER, I repeat, NEVER go shopping around on eBay after having imbibed a few too many cocktails. Tee many martooni's is not good preparation for online bidding). So I bid an ungodly high amount, just to make sure I won. I had no idea that there would be several other fools out there who are also keenly interested in this camera. Thus the bidding has gone astronomically high, almost to the point of reaching my "max bid". And my "max bid" is HUGE. Really, really huge. A great deal more than the camera is worth. Well, the bidding war stopped a couple of hours ago, around $50.00 shy of my max. I've been hoping against hope to get outbid ever since the price started to go beyond what is reasonable. As you know, there is no way to retract my bid. I really can't afford that camera, I don't have enough money in my PayPal account to cover it, which means that PayPal will use my credit card info, which means that if I win I'll be paying interest on the fucking thing. UGH!! This too is adding to my level of anxiety. Please, oh PLEASE let somebody outbid me.
So there's nothing to do now but wait. And wait. And wait. While my moods travel all across the spectrum and I become more and more expectant, apprehensive, optimistic, pessimistic, with every passing second. So stay tuned, I'll let you know (if you even happen to give a shit) what happens on these two different fronts. If you don't hear from me, you'll know that my mind finally said "fuck you buddy, I'm leaving", and that I truly have "lost my mind" for the time being.
Well, this blog was supposed to be a way for me to practice writing for an audience, not just myself. I've not proof-read the above (I never proof-read) but I'm sure it came-out more like a Journal entry than anything else. But I'm just too damn nervous to concentrate.
Writing usually helps to calm my nerves....but considering the events of the day, I'm pretty sure that I am beyond help.
Cheers,
Jimmy
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